m8 WAR!!

 I am going to WAR again finally some action for once. I'll get to use an obsidian studded club thing called a Macuahuitl. Some other weapons such as the Tepoztopilli or a spear with an obsidian tip and the Tecpatl or knife. I've got Ichcahuipilli a cotton woven vest like thing dipped in salt water then dried to let the salt crystallise inside the vest. Now this my first major war and I'm not used to the weapons here yet so I'm probably going to stay near the middle. Just to avoid some fatal injuries and I don't want that. Especially since my wound from those cheetahs hasn't completely help yet.

Oh yeah I also brought old chuck here with me. Who after all this time he'd still be trying to catch me for those bank robberies. So this mean we might start that whole operation butter cups again. If only we had seth with us we could do operation butter cups without fail. But seth is a snake thing so he'd probably get all of us sacrificed to the gods. Man, just like the good old days. Sort of since there were three of us and now there are only two of us. Just for the time being, we still got seth on our side, I think.

Uh oh my plan to be in the middle failed because were fighting a flower war. Meaning I get to fight with the less experienced warriors and it seems I'm the best in my group. You know the worst part is that I don't know anything about Aztec warfare. Just hope my group doesn't get slaughtered on become sacrifices. Yes Chuck got moved to my class so that means we have a pretty good chance at not getting slaughtered. Unless Chuck here draws the wimpy card again like in Rome. I'm being weighed down with my scars so I might not be able to get to him in time.

Oh my there's so much blood, and my Macuahuitl is losing all of it's obsidian pieces. My spear lost it tip a long time ago and now I'm down to my  Tecpatl. Which means close quarter combat and you all know that's my specialty. Looks like my opponents are going lose their life today. Ha ha ha. I haven't fought like this since I was in Greece and this is more fun. More fun because if you do get all cut up like me for example some obsidian might get stuck in you. And guess what, chuck did draw a wimpy card and now I have to go save his butt... Again.

Only chuck and I are going back because we're the only ones alive.
Oh yeah and some grimy prisoners , to bad for them. They have to die and on this nice day with the radiant sun beaming down upon us too. Now we must consolidate the priests and see what ranks we get to be in since we or I defeated the enemy  and brought back prisoners. Ok chuck you did help with with guarding the prisoners. Not much in fighting though but still enough to be in the high military ranks, I think we are. But hey Rome wasn't built in a day so if we can stay alive long enough we could be famous. No, I'm not that kind of guy but maybe chuck is. Hmm? Maybe so but hey who am I to judge him. Til next time guys.

M7 Safari

 Finally vacation time, well sort of a vacation. I'm going on a safari in Nigeria but also taking notes about the wild life for my wife. Only because my wife is afraid of lions and other predators. I think she shouldn't be afraid because  I am an expert warrior trained the deadly arts, wouldn't you trust me on this? Never mind lets get back to the safari. Boy,am I excited to see my favorite animal the cheetah, but I still have to be very careful. Especially since I'm not traveling in an armored car or have modern day fire arms.

And because there are MUCH  MORE animals in the ancient world. Speaking of which how am I going to get around the great plains or savannas, hmm... probably by sneaking around with my awesome sword. Not to mention trying to not get caught because I have a STEEL sword. Not iron or bronze because I think steel is more effective than bronze. I mean bronze will bend when it hits something really hard like bone. Just saying I don't want to be caught by some lions with a weak sword.

Now we all know how dangerous that is, only an idiot would do that. Hmmmm.... or not because then it would cost more to get the really good sword and you probably won't even need it. So I conclude that the idiot is the smart one, and the smart one that's not so very smart is the idiot. Too confusing? Well too bad for you ! And if you do get it awesome!! Uh oh while I was writing to you I got surrounded by some, um cheetahs. I can't hurt the cheetahs but if I don't hurt or possibly kill some of them I can't escape.

I think it's time to break out the sword, sorry cheetahs but you want to eat me and I don't want to be eaten so..... Ahhh!!! ouch!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE cheetahs now their bite hurts a 100 times more than those pesky lions in Rome. Or maybe it just hurts more because I don't have armor on. Oh well, all you need to know is that it hurts like uhhhh...... stab yourself fifty times in the arm and you'll know.

Man, for once I'm glad to go home early. Mainly because of my wound on my arm and because I don't want to get an infection. I'm not saying there isn't good medicine here, by the way the medicine here dominates quite a few pain killers we have in the present day. I wonder why? Anyways I can't wait to go to the ancient Americas next, then I can tell you all my anecdotes.